I’ve been reading Rick Rubin’s book, The Creative Act: A Way of Being. In his chapters on self-doubt, he writes about the ways we self-sabotage as an artist.
Flaws are human, and the attraction of art is the humanity held in it… With life comes pain, insecurity, and fear.
We’re all different and we’re all imperfect, and the imperfections are what makes each of us and our work interesting. We create pieces reflective of who we are, and if insecurity is part of who we are, then our work will have a greater degree of truth in it as a result. (73)
Self-doubt and insecurity are things I struggle with as an artist. It’s much easier to see the worth of others’ creations than our own. When we look at something we’ve made, along with it we see all its imperfections, and the struggle that got us there. It’s tainted.
To Rubin, though, our imperfections and insecurities lend authenticity and truth to our creations. Ironically, they make our creations better. As artists, we are challenged to see them as strengths, instead.
The people who choose to do art are, many times, the most vulnerable…
The sensitivity that allows them to make the art is the same vulnerability that makes them more tender to being judged. Still, many continue to share their work and risk criticism in spite of this. It’s as if they have no other choice. Being an artist is who the are, and they are made whole through self-expression…
Adversity is part of the process. (74)
I feel that phrase intensely: “Made whole through self-expression.” It’s why when we repress our creative impulses, we feel empty and stifled. And when we let them flow, we feel alive.
If you are struggling to take the first step in expressing yourself, or if you feel stuck, Rubin has some helpful thoughts on this.
How do we move forward, considering the stories we tell ourselves?
One of the best strategies is to lower the stakes.
We tend to think that what we’re making is the most important thing in our lives and that it’s going to define us for all eternity. Consider moving forward with the more accurate point of view that it’s a small work, a beginning. The mission is to complete the project so you can move on to the next. That next one is a stepping-stone to the following work. And so it continues in productive rhythm for the entirety of your creative life.
All art is a work in progress. It’s helpful to see the piece we’re working on as an experiment. One in which we can’t predict the outcome. Whatever the result, we will receive useful information that will benefit the next experiment.
If you start from the position that there is no right or wrong, no good or bad, and creativity is just free play with no rules, it’s easier to submerge yourself joyfully in the process of making things.
We’re not playing to win, we’re playing to play. And ultimately, playing is fun. (77-78)
I’ve found this to be true. Those times when I am too much of a perfectionist, my creativity suffers. It puts far too much weight and pressure on one single piece. However, when I compose more freely, more playfully, I find that each phrase, each melody, each chord progression is teaching me something new. Every piece is a stepping stone.
I learn more through this “free play” — improvisation — than through slogging away over the perfect placement of notes and harmonies.
So as artists, let’s not let our imperfections and insecurities hold us back. Instead, choose to see them as “a guiding force in our creativity”.